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The Quotes Thread

Discussion in 'Tavern Talk' started by spike010, Jun 18, 2014.

  1. spike010

    spike010 Yellow flower puncher

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    Similar to the Minecraft Middle-Earth Quotes thread, this is for quotes from real life, and other social places (that was worded beautifully). If it is someone not from here, hide them....

    I'll start:
    Me: I just wrote a paragraph about Japanese prostitutes
    @Dargona1018: Wow, Japanese prostitu- well then
     
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  2. Indorilian

    Indorilian Yellow flower puncher

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    I'm not sure this is entirely useful. Also, considering your post is about 2 MCME members, there was no real point to this.
     
  3. spike010

    spike010 Yellow flower puncher

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    The point of this thread is for quotes outside of MCME. They can be from other people, as long as they are kept anomynous. The reason I used the quote I did is because that occurred through Steam.
     
  4. Soap887

    Soap887 Aspiring Commoner

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    Someone I know at school said something incredibly stupid in maths class. So, we were doing work, then suddenly she just up and said:
    Silly Person: You know, I always thought that people in Greece spoke spanish!
    ... wot.
     
  5. DSESGH

    DSESGH Dirt Conaisseur

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    Assuming quotes from famous (or infamous) people are allowed, I will post this one. Now I want you all to know that I didn't hear this quote said, it was from a book of quotes:p
    "Only warmongers think there will be war. I think there will be a long period of peace." -Adolf Hitler, 1938 or 1939

    Another one from the same book:
    "People seeking solitude are in fact flocking here from all corners of the globe." -Ad for a Swiss resort
     
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  6. Fireinferno13

    Fireinferno13 One of Us
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    "YOU DONT KNOW ME, YOU DONT KNOW WHO I AM, I COULD BE A GIANT NOODLE!!!"
    -Random girl yelling at my school....wtf
     
  7. JordD04

    JordD04 One of Us
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    I was in History a little while back, and we were discussing Exam method, my teacher asked the class what the best way was to learn how to write an essay.
    My friend without thinking shouts out "Do One!"
    Fortunately my teacher understood what he meant.
     
  8. spike010

    spike010 Yellow flower puncher

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    We were writing an essay in class
    Teacher: It's a lot harder than you thought
    Student: That's what she said
    Teacher: Don't talk about you mother like that
     
    #8 spike010, Jun 20, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2014
  9. Will_em

    Will_em One of Us

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    So while working in a hospital:
    Docotr is dictating his diagnose with a voice controlled typing program: ...a broadened ligament showing signs of a tennis elbow...
    Nurse: Tennis elbow? Does that also exist?
    Me: yeah of course lots of fractures/luxations exist that are named after a sport, goalkeepers thump, ...(name a few)

    On my feedback:
    Main nurse giving me points: yeah so you did really well (1th year of college, first internship in a major hospital as a radio tech), you really helpful. You also know a lot though and you do sometimes show of your knowledge, you got to watch out for that.
    Apparently the nurse thought I was a know it all because she didn't know one of the most common types of elbow injuries whilst working in radiology which has these injuries every day.
     
  10. Sulyeon

    Sulyeon Aspiring Commoner

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    I will post a few from work ~ box office at a cinema ~

    1:

    me: Do you use a discount
    5 stupid people: No
    - prints tickets each 12 lev -
    5 stupid people: Wait we are students why arent they 10
    me: because you said you didnt use discount
    5 stupid people: How is being a student a discount
    - Face fist - reprint tickets - give them 5 student tickets -
    5 stupid people: We are going to pay separately
    Me: I have already printed them thats not possible
    1 of 5 stupid people: Okey here have my 50

    for another 10 min they were wondering how to give her back the money when 3 of them had a 10 and 1 had a 20 - Lost hope in life

    2:

    Some dude: Do you have small programs
    Me: We dont have small fliers with the program anymore
    Dude: What are the big fliers

    3:

    Me: Sir your daughter cant go watch the movie cause its for over 16
    Da Sir: But we watched the wolf of wall street
    Me: You watched how L.D. take cocaine form a girls ass with your 14 years old daughter o_O
    Sir to his daughter : IS THAT WHAT YOU WATCHED WITH PETER!

    Lol

    4:

    A 35-ish couple

    Man: so what movies are on now
    Me: what kind do you want to watch
    Woman: Lets watch x-man
    Man: Phh watching a movie. Lets go home and have sex.
    - laugh -
    Woman: So we are going to watch a movie right
    Man: ...
    Long eye to eye staring
    Woman : X-man or nothing
    Man: Okey lets go watch it
    Again Eye contact
    Woman: Lets go home and have sex

    xD and they left apparently to have sex


    I know its a long post but meh
     
  11. Iru

    Iru Dirt Conaisseur
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    Happened when I was in year 10 , seven years ago

    Some d**k in our year decided to approach and annoy a group of my friends and to try coax one of my buddies into a fight. I was coming back from the canteen with some lunch and half way through my banana (need that potassium) walking across from the quad (school yard) when I saw him in the distance.

    As I was near, I saw the guy throw a light slap across my friends face trying to antagonise him but a few of us told him to p*ss off, so he started walking away. At this point people around the yard were becoming curious at the altercation so you can see alot of onlookers. Clearly my friend was fuming and just wanted revenge. Another one of my mates mentioned to my friend "Leave it. Just Let it Slide".. at this point being me I threw my banana peel at the a** who was walking away ..... it dropped on the floor infront of him and he SLIPPED ON IT.

    It was a glorious moment.. all the people at lunch saw it. Never saw him again after that year

    #Justice
     
  12. Will_em

    Will_em One of Us

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    My first driving exam, a man what a nightmare.
    I was appointed a burnout arrogant woman to test me so I knew it wasn't going to go over smoothly.
    So me at the wheel, tart in the back and my driving teacher on the right. It was a driving school car so the passenger side also had the pedals, also manual car so think clutch.
    We go for a drive, me being stressed while tart is ranting about coworkers and bad work fees and on and on and on. She directs me towards a pretty empty road where I got to make turn the car around towards where I came from. I hit the indicator to show I'm going to turn left, but I'm waiting for a bicycle to pass whilst my indicator is flashing. After he passes and while I'm making a smooth turn she asks why I let my light flash so long, cause the biker would be confused or misinformed that I'm waiting for something or that I would do something radical. Yeah I was going to do a monstertruck donut mam'.
    While driving to the end of the road she tells me to stoo the car and she gets out. Tart walks over to a man parking near the end of the road blocking the view/passage a bit while he's unloading his car. She starts ranting about the law of driving and what he's doing wrong and orders him to move his car asap.
    She gets in again and we continue our journey. While all this is happening the teacher next to me is helping with the clutch and brake, I can feel him correcting my moves. That is forbidden to do by the way.
    We drive on and I approach a construction site at the end of the road, and apparently I had to turn left 500 yards sooner while tart kept her mouth shut or didn't tell me anything. She rants about the fact that I'm not local traffic and that I should have known when to turn. Keep in minx that I don't know the way we're going, it's tart who tells me at the last second what to do.
    So I respond, well if this would fail men I don't see the point in continuing madame, as judging from your reaction, I would never pass anyway by now. "I SAY WHEN OR WHERE WE GO NOT YOU, but you're right you failed let's head back."
    So we go back and add a busy intersection she suddenly rolls down her window and starts yelling at a bmw that he should be stripped of his licence for making a turn when not indicating or something, can't remember but it wasn't a big deal.
    I also get another rant for passing to close to a fence. She starts ranting about the price of sidemirror repairs and asks me how much it is. I was going to answer: "well I don't know madame, it never happened to me. But it obviossly happened to you a few times since you seem to know? I'm glad I didn't when the next thing happened.
    When we arrive at the complex where the office is, there is a massive amount of cars driving up the entrance because there is also a governmental car controll there. In belgium you need to get a sort of document that says your car is safe to drive, and they check your car at special garages. So I can't drive up the road, so I queue up in line trying to make my way through without hindering others.
    Tart goes in full ragemode: "THESE SONS OF B#*_@ES, LET ME HANDLE THIS."
    She steps out and starts yelling at everyone to go away, in a freakin jam where nobody can move anyway. So she goes all the way to the back of the line and almost starts pushing cars away to make room. All the time I can here her yelling while tart standw 50 yards away and the car is completly closed.
    So I failed, needless to say and when taking another driving lesson I tell what happened to my other regular teacher. He replies: "she did what?! O the guys are going to love this. You know she fails everybody the first time?"

    Second time I tried the only remark I got that I drove to slow at times. Think tart needs some sexy time or a baseball bat to the head.
     
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  13. Iru

    Iru Dirt Conaisseur
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    Quote I came across today;

    Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power - Abraham Lincoln
     
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  14. Vami_IV

    Vami_IV Thrall

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    --Friedrich Nietzsche

    I could also bring up a list of Ross Scott / Gordon Freeman quotes, but I shall not due to profanity. Okay, maybe one wouldn't hurt.

    --Gordon Freeman portrayed by Ross Scott
     
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  15. Dargona1018

    Dargona1018 Aspiring Commoner

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    "I would rather be near the birds than wish I had wings" -Random patient on House M.D.
     
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  16. spike010

    spike010 Yellow flower puncher

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    Two of my friends and I were in a Skype call. One of my friend's mum enters the room and asks the friend what he was doing and went onto discuss about his dirty underwear. When she noticed the Skype call, she said 'There are people witnessing me swearing at you! OH F*CK!'.
     
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  17. Fireinferno13

    Fireinferno13 One of Us
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    I get in my friends car and he has the airconditioning blasting, so, naturally, without missing a beat I say:

     
  18. arathorn867

    arathorn867 Aspiring Commoner

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    Heard in post office today in Berlin.
    (Lady on phone, read in new york accent)
    No honey, i'm not done yet, it's not like going to the park ya know, this is government.
     
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  19. nevik45

    nevik45 Aspiring Commoner

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    Me: "Hey, you remember that game I used to be obsessed with?"
    Friend: "What, League of Angels?"

    Another, me and some friends were hangin', playing Super Smash Bros Brawl, and one of us had never played before. WE were playing on the Corneria stage, and, ya know the gun that blasts you to death in 1 shot? Yeah.
    Friends 1 says to friend 2 (who'd never played Super Smash Bros before): "You know, if you stand on that big gun, you get an extra life"
    friend two tries it, gun fires, and he dies
     
  20. Soap887

    Soap887 Aspiring Commoner

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    Watching a documentary about architecture in class:
    Documentary: ... And building something on this scale requires mega engineering...
    Guy in class: Lego?
     
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